Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Ahimsa?

That basically means non violence... and to me it covers physical, intentional and verbal nonviolence too.

I've been tempted to kill off my blog though... since February actually, after a conversation with an acquaintance who got it into his head that a certain post was about him. The post was subsequently deleted because I got sick of trying to explain myself to someone I couldnt give two figs about. Yep. I'm a horrible person that way.

Back to what I was saying. Blogging was a hobby, a way to connect. Now one year past... it feels like a heavy chain about my neck. People I'm close to, people I barely know, people I would rather keep their distance from me... It hit me that they're getting an insight to me. And I'm not too comfortable with that. I've always been a private person... and to think a person I smile in acknowledgement at but have never had a decent conversation with might know what I had for breakfast this morning is unnerving. Yep. I'm a bit on the paranoid side. Not that I'm being stalked or anything, it's just well, it's me. It's a lot nicer to just blend in and not get too much attention, except from people who really matter...loved ones, family, true friends, you get the picture.

So to kill or not to kill. I don't know. Maybe I just wont post for a bit and take a breather.. too many articles I'm attached to here. Maybe I should just say to heck with it, my blog, my thoughts, so what if some people don't like it... just learn to deal with it? :S

Sigh. Undecided. It's a terrible feeling. I respect people who can make decisions in a split second. Me... it usually takes me longer than the average person. I mean, hello... I've been weighing this relatively simple decision for around 7 months. There are people who decide who they want to live with for the rest of their lives on a first date. There are those who walk away from all worldly possessions to work with gorillas in South Africa. World leaders decide how much to cut carbon emissions by in a matter of days.

But I LIKE blogging. Sigh. Till later then

8 comments:

Gadgetgirl said...

had this feeling and it too did pass. just keep it. :)

Kirigalpoththa said...

Hey, do not kill it. If not for this blog I would have never find such good friends in KL :)

rainfield61 said...

To kill or not to kill, to be happy or not to be happy, this is a same old problem happens to many of us, its root cause may then be different.

I hope you can get it through.

Just look at the nature, it will tell you the answer.

Navin said...

better DOTA then..loser:PPP

Anonymous said...

hey... i always kena ahimsa la dat means.. n i tink i've ahimsa-ed a few ppl too.. hehehe..

Chavie said...

Now now, don't give in to temptation. :) This is where being anonymous rocks, but then again we have blogger meetups here so anonymity is lost and everything that happens here gets spewed all over FB. So I had to go through the whole kill/not kill thing too. My advice is, keep the blog. It's the harder path to follow (and you'll have to deal with a lot of messy situations), but it'll make you a stronger person in the long run. :D

jaacostan said...

ah,when i saw the title of this post,Ahimsa,i thought, this will be something about Mahatma Gandhi,Gandhiji.... !
ok !!!

blog owner/writer must follow non-violence even the readers tempt to make you violent... :P

usually readers are good critics...comment in a smooth violent manner...

anyway both violence and non-violence must need in this blogosphere(emotions can only expressed by words)...enjoy both :-)


Good!!

rainfield61 said...

Heard you talking again.

Hope you are fine.

Have a nice weekend.