Friday, November 26, 2010


The title says it all. Ggrr...I'm homesick for the people I love.

Sunday, November 21, 2010


It coincides with the 15th day of the Hindu month of Kaarthigai, when the moon is full and the Keerthika star is visible in the night skies, or something along those lines. The astrological part escapes me.
     Mum told me a week back but I forgot completely. Then BB called and it hit me that for the first time in 24 years I wouldnt be vegetarian on this day. A day many non Hindus think is Deepavali but is not, though some consider it an extension. It's a day where Lord Shiva made himself a single speck of light, hence why we worship the flame; a day where six small boys became One for the love of a Mother; a day I find more exciting than Deepavali, more so for it's lowkey home celebration scale.
     I miss running from porch to backyard and making my way up the staircase to the altar to light the little clay lamps we call agal vilakku with my siblings and parents. 

     I miss the small prayer as my eyes take in the myriad of flower offerings at the table which serves as our altar at home.
     I miss running around with a scrap of cloth to dab up oil spills despite the folded layer of paper we place meticulously under each lamp to prevent such things.
     What I would give to sit at home, all lights switched off and just watched the flickering lights in the still humid darkness of the warm tropics.
     What I would give for the small smiles we exchange as we genuflect on our efforts as a team.
     Strangely, I even miss collecting the used lamps and cleaning them up.
     Most of all, I miss celebrating it at home. The memory of last year's Kaarthigai at home is making me smile now, a welcome recluse from the previous 4 years of it practically not being celebrated here away from home. This year I brought the agal vilakku with me and will place one at the doorstep to my room when the sun sets at 4pm.
     Am looking forward to future Kaarthigais with my loved ones.
     Thank you BB, thank you Amma. Happy Kaarthigai to all who celebrate :) 

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Rediscovering A Friend

I haven’t dreamt of you in sometime
And today we spoke as friends
Friends who laughed much over a pint
Expressions that said more than a mime
We have somehow replaced lost time,
With good intentions and a smile
We have rediscovered friendship:
that which was yours and mine.
I used to dream of you for long hours
Times when I walked away and left you there
A recurring nightmare I stole what was ours
And left you alone, confused and bare
Yet today we spoke as friends
Friends who shared more than a pint
And I’m glad we took that step to show we care.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Bowling Philosophy

You know how we bowl side by side, one eye on the scoreboard as we squint down the bowling lane, wondering how many pins will fall to our superior skill? 

What do you think would happen if we stopped bending over and squinting down our respective lanes, and instead of swearing at the ball for 3 whole seconds, we took that time to smile at a fellow bowler, and laughed when the ball went into the drain? Or winked when a fellow bowler got a strike or a spare?

What if we stopped racing, tried not to think of only the final score? What if we bowled just for the fun of it and made friends along the way? 

What if we stopped scrutinising the other's playing technique and just nodded warmly as the other picked up a bowling ball next to us?

What if life was like bowling: its path the bowling lane, fellow bowlers the people we meet along the way, the bowling ball our efforts and work, the pins the returns we get, and the scoreboard our competitive nature? 

What if the act of bowling was bigger than the game? What if living was bigger than being alive?

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Rambles.Race. More Rambles

Yep so I've been thinking, well not actually, I make better decisions when I don't think too much and just go with the flow.

I guess I'm keeping Connections at least till this summer. Once I get my posting I'm pretty certain that all blogging whims will be overruled by the need to get back to my loved ones and get decent rest. I hear residency can be hell... and even if I wished otherwise, blogging will become a thing of the past.This blog has been my constant companion through all sorts of times from 4 yrs ago... I know the posts here begin on Sept 2009, but it's in fact from an older blog that doesn't exist anymore. 

I've realised a few things of late:
-I'm pretty readable with or without the blog
-So what if the facts are laid out for people to see?
-I don't have commitment issues. I have attachment issues. This blog staying on would be an excellent example.
-I think that's all actually :P

And to get to the point of this post:

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

O many gods, so many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind,
While just the art of being kind
Is all the sad world needs.

That's all we all want and need, isn't it? A bit of kindness.

It has been two months plus since I got back here and lots of things have happened. Things have a way of happening like that I've noticed, whether you expect them to or want them to or not. Another 8 mths till I can go home to people I love and I'm pretty certain this road's gonna be littered with all sorts of random events which make uni life all the sweeter. Four times the current drama looming on the horizon... God give us strength! :P

Right so that didnt make too much sense, but blame it on the slightly sleepy state the food has put me in.

And do you know what's as awesome as loving and caring for someone? It's being loved and cared for in return. Mushiness I know. Just a liddel homesick..

Oh btw, happy belated Halloween and Deepavali to all who celebrate :) Me? I celebrated both :) And erm, focus on the poem, 'cause the rambles wont make sense nyways. It's just an outlet for my slow dribble of thoughts.

Have a great day, all! :)