The Checklist

Part A: Why relationships suck.

• \       When A tells you that B’s talking about you, and each day you see B and smile anyways?
• \       When you still care enough to make decent conversation with B, not because you want to make peace, but because years of companionship has to mean more than all the backstabbing and b*llsh*t-mongering?
• \       When you’re p*ssed off enough to come up with a dumbass checklist like this one?
• \       When you’re on auto mode and you listen to how much your loved ones are fed up with their better halves?
• \       When you know your loved ones’ better halves are wrong, but put in a kind word anyway (a) to make it seem okay and for their peace of mind and (b) you don’t want to be the ‘bad guy’ in their lives?
• \       When you have to tell them the other half is not worth their effort and tears and you feel like the bad guy nyways?
• \       When you wake up to go through a routine that has long since ceased to make sense to you?
• \       When A and B silently hate each others’ guts, and you just want to stay freaking neutral?
• \       When you realize you’re not a saint either because you have terrible thoughts about A and B and the the whole circus connected to them?
• \       When you want to sit in the room and not fr*aking talk to anyone because another smile or another snide remark is more than you can take?
• \       When you wish you had the b*lls and lack of coutesy to bash another’s teeth in for a sarcastic smile/remark, but you don’t?
• \       When you/others make mistakes and they never let it go?
• \       When they make mistakes and forget that others have already let go?
• \       When they go on and on and on about the same crap they’ve been spouting for years, allowing slight variations in the narration for dramatic effect?
• \       When you hear them say freaking discouraging things about things and people you love?
• \       When they seem to have forgotten that for some dumba*se reason you always had their back and never let others speak ill of them?
• \       When you want to ask them to shut the h*ll up because you don’t give a rat’s a*se about who did what and said what?
• \       When what they say about who said what and did what nags at your mind?
• \       When you feel like a total retard dealing with f*cking retards the whole day and get that scrunched up feeling in your shoulders?
• \       When you squint in frustration at a person who either intentionally or unintentionally made your day go from good to bad to worse and then hit rock bottom and even lower?

Part B: Why relationships rock.

• \       When you get home grumpy, disheartened and there’s a hand that draws you close and kisses your forehead.
• \       When there’s a friend you can sit next to and discuss things from nuclear fission and bladder catheterization to teletubbies and how cucumbers reproduce to V8 engines and vacuum cleaners.
• \       When there’s another who wants to sit there next to you and sip steaming tea from the same mug.
• \       When there’s someone who sees only you in a crowded room.
• \       When there’s mum and dad and the whole family works.
• \       When there’s home in a person you love.
• \       When there’s a person who knows your mum and dad and the whole family works and asks after them.
• \       When there’s comfort to do everyday small things with another.
• \       When another wants you to know every small detail of his/her life.
• \       When you want to hold another person close to make his/her day better.
• \       When you wake up and you know you fell asleep next to the right person.
• \       When you know for a fact that for every 500 screwed up relationships, the one right one makes it all worth it.
• \       When you thank the higher powers for letting you have that one right relationship.
• \       When you stop worrying and being afraid because there’s a person holding your hand.
• \       When you hold that person’s hand back.
• \       When you rant and rave at a person who cares enough to listen?
• \       When you listen to a friend rant and rave about his/her messed up day.
• \       When you share the good details of a day and the sh*tty parts don’t seem so big anymore.
• \       When you share a laugh over a joke and the scrunched up feeling in your shoulder loosens up.
• \       When you make someone’s frown bumps disappear and make them smile for real.
• \       When you come up with mushy cr*p like this checklist.

If you have all ticked in Part A and even one ticked in Part B of the checklist, then trust me, you’re doing pretty great :)