Pulling Through

How many times do I do this?

My heart is in tatters,

My tears are mere whispers,

Looking for another reason to smile from within.

A smile from within seems out of reach,

I scrub, i clean, i cookand wash,

I’ve yet to find my inner smile,

Though many a time i’ve gone the extra mile.

Love is a fairytale,

A lore of old that i’ve outgrown,

Blindfolded we try to pin on the donkey’s tail,

some get it right, others don’t

i don’t wish to play this game anymore.

I’m looking for a way out,

A way to find myself again,

innocence lost, happiness submerged,

I want to earth them all out again!

I’m pushing, i’m fighting,

And as i do my arms grow weary,

The waves and current guide me,

Carry me in gentle waves to the shore.

Now my chest is heaving,

My breath rumbles within,

I am gasping for golden air.

A gentle breeze touches my cheek,

The smell of grass and lavender ease my pain,

The call of a friend lifts the shroud,

I am home at last.

The innocence remains lost,

The submerged happiness a lesson learnt,

In their place is wisdom, love and God,

In their place is me, changed somewhat,

In their place is me, with the same bruised heart,

But I am whole, and i am home,

Thank you, dear God