Saturday, March 20, 2010

Getting Married is

plain weird. Please excuse me if it comes out wrong, k? :)

My stand on marriage : PRO marriage

My stand on weddings: WEIRD un-understandable series of events

First is the measured writing out of wedding cards and reception invites, which depends on my mum’s inarguably very lengthy list of relatives and friends of relatives – most of whom I’d never known 6-7 years before this! After all the weddings she’s pulled off, her list is the only reference some of my aunts require! Not kidding.. I like the card-writing part because as I’ve mentioned here, I appreciate routine at times :)

But of course before that there’s the family haggling of possible venues of the said events… and what alcohol may/may not be served ;)

After the cards and late evening phone calls cum visits to close family/friends for  personal invitations to the endless ceremonies (trust me, in my family, the ceremonies begin a week BEFORE and extend to a few weeks AFTER the wedding itself – at a minimum! :P), there are:
1. Caterers -  Coz EVERY ceremony has food involved
2. Decorators - Think fairy lights, floral arrangements, garlands, kumbam, kolam,water features and ice
sculptures
3. Bridal schools - For the bride. But just as importantly for family members (mum, sis,cousins, dads, bros,the 
neighbour’s neighbour…!)
4. Photographers - But sometimes the decorators supply one and I like that. It saves time

Then there’s shopping. This part, I DON’T like. I don’t mind shopping, but I detest shopping for clothes and especially for others. I always end up feeling like crap at the cashier. Plus, I’m pretty clueless when it comes to sarees and veshtis. I wouldn’t know a kanchipuram silk from Egyptian cotton. Thank God for aunts, huh? Did I really just say that?? Eeek!

But I do love the late night gambling sessions, the sweetmeats in shiny tins in kitchen cupboards, the aroma of yummies wafting out in the warm wind into my yard as I open the front gate. The little frowns as family members recall another errand they forgot while worrisome is actually pleasant in a twisted way. It means they care about doing things right.

I also like the packing of door gifts with cousins just before we crash on a mattress in the hall, giggling and making small talk before we drift off to sleep. I don’t mind too much waking up to find all my blankets bunched up under one of their bums and having to do more work the next day.  Actually I DO mind waking up without a blanket. Note to self: Kill next cousin/sibling who steals blanket in the middle of the night.

I enjoy the mad dash to the wedding hall with the wedding trays and being part of the bride/groom’s entourage, but I DON’T enjoy the length of the ceremony. Hindu weddings are notoriously long and the worst of the lot are Ceylonese Hindu weddings. It takes 2 hours plus. One best man (he sits next to the groom while waiting for the bride) actually nodded off to sleep! No, I aint tellin’ who ;)

I am usually tired out by this time but the drive to the bride’s house then the groom’s within the ‘auspicious’ period while confusing to some, usually makes me smile. But I usually smile when I don’t understand something so don’t read too much into it :)

And I totally love the after-wedding meals that the brides and grooms get. That’s the stuff envy is made out of! Then the MARRIAGE begins…
 
You see, weddings are mere culturosymbolic ceremonies, officiated by a clergyman usually. Marriage, however, is what happens AFTER the ceremony. It’s living. Living with someone else, understanding their quirks and personal idiosyncrasies and them knowing yours. It’s putting up with each other and sometimes wondering how you lived without the other, sometimes wondering how you manage to live with them thus far too!

So many of my relatives and friends are taking that leap of faith and I wish I could be there at these times. Since I’m waaay over here, I just wanna wish them a perfect joyful wedding and a wondrous marriage where they learn to love each other and help one another grow over the years.

That’s why I never get why storybooks and movies end with a kiss at a wedding ceremony. I mean, isn’t that only the beginning?

P/s : Take it from someone who’s been a part of a gazillion weddings - don’t get stressed if the caterer forgets matching coloured scallops for the tables or you don’t get a picture with your best friend’s mum. Remember the wedding is a ceremony and just smile. Ok? :)

It’s the marriage which counts, everyone else will forget the wedding. Really. 

Plus getting stressed will ruin your mood and make you look like a lunatic in your wedding photos.

And no, I haven’t been part of a gazillion weddings but it sure feels like it :) AND I dunno how many zeros there are in a gazillion. Do you?? 

5 comments:

Loshini said...

sorry 'bout the retarded spacing. blame it on the coffee rationing due to fast depleting stocks.. :)

Congratulations on the wedding (all 6 of you) and happy married life!! I think i forgot to mention that :p

Me-shak said...

marriage is a beautiful mess i would say :D

It is lots of crappy situations in just one day! The rush, the thrill, the love, the smiles, the tears make it the best day of many peoples lives!

Very well written! I though it was just in sri lanka that all the women play merry hell when it comes to weddings, but seems that everyone is in the same boat!

Gazillion has 86430 zeros :P
Cheers!

Chavie said...

Ah, weddings... I love stealing pillows and blankets from sleeping relatives too! ;) Such awesome fun! ;) lol

Yep, take it from us IT guys, a Gazillion has 86430 zeros (in binary!) ;P lol

rainfield61 said...

I am lucky to have gone through mine so many years ago, and so good to have once in my lifetime only.

Wowww!!!

Loshini said...

Me-shak:
'Merry hell', eh? lol!

86430? Really? Always thought it was a meaningless phrase like 'all the way to Timbuktu' :P

Chavie:
Ah. YOU are on the other side of the blanket war... wait till you get smaller cousins who steal FROM you. You're accumulating bad karma in the blanket issue, pal ;)

Trusting the IT people on the gazillion thing.. but am gonna Google it all the same ;)

rainfield:
haha... once in a lifetime's more than enough I hear! you are lucky indeed :)