09.07.2011

http://inbaraj.com/ninthjuly/

Apologising

...doesnt always put you in the wrong, nor does loyalty prove you the better person. There's always a grey area and if you wanna sleep soundly at night, you've gotta work it out and not let it fester.

Backbone

Malaysia

Six years overseas in an institution that has been under the constant scrutiny of the MQA and I’m heading home this summer anyway. I could have opted to take the Kaplan Step-2 and move to the states. At least they have a sense of humour there. Their president was accused of being an illegal immigrant and he recently laughed it off by showing a video clip from the opening of the Lion King. Despite heavy criticism he’s one step closer to healthcare reform, and the withdrawal of the troops and the lack of pomp with which he did it won over even my reluctant vote. I used to think the US was overrated, not worth the respect they garnered at times, but I realized that one man does make a world of difference. Bush’s America and Obama’s America are worlds apart.

Am I less of a patriot of thinking highly of the West? I think not.

Sure we hit the global media for ridiculous things like ‘taking the gay out of our young men’, backyard trash like cowhead stepping and Molotov cocktails being thrown into mosque grounds. Sure we’re famous for things like hotel raids during Valentine’s day, armed robbery in broad daylight, racial bigotry, political voyeurism, and blind support of local industries at the expense of crazy import duties, less than efficient fuel consumption and generic versions of Lancers and Mitsubishis on our roads.

I definitely sound like am slandering my own nation here, but bear with me. Like I was saying, this summer, I still am heading home to quirky Malaysia.

You see, I spent 3 of my 6 years here with a Muslim roommate, something you would have never seen in a local university hostel. Trust me, my elder siblings, they were ‘placed at random’ and they all ended up with Indian roommates in their local public universities. When my roomamate and I split ways, it was due to personal issues, nothing religious. She prayed 5 times a day, and read from the Quran each night, and I sang my Hindu devotional songs and occasionally even lit incense sticks during major celebrations. She didn’t mind me eating pork, nor did I mind her eating beef. She comes from a traditional Malay family, and I from a traditional Tamil one.  We’re still close friends, classmates, and occasional shopping buddies despite having had our differences.

When the MQA decided to get international recognition, and PSD decided to review its scholarship awarding, though I may not benefit from either…  in the first case because I stand a risk of being careerless, and in the second because having completed my university education, I no longer stand a chance of gaining a JPA scholarship… I began to hope. The MQA review, suspension of civil servant hiring for 3 months seems to hold promise of a fairer system based on merit rather than racial quota. I am not saying please impoverish one race, I am saying choose people who are eligible for the job, those with necessary skill and the motivation to improve themselves. Since our Public Health is in such a state, a qualification exam would be disastrous to the 3000 odd Russian and Ukrainian Medical graduates, yes, but if it means it’s for a less biased, more efficient medical workforce, then why the heck not. Here’s to hoping there isn’t a quota on that as well though.. coz if there is, a lot of us would be royally f**ked. And on the PSD scholarship, awarding overseas scholarships should be based on merit. Admittedly it should have been discussed within the Cabinet to prevent rumours of a divided BN, but I think it was a gutsy move, transparent, and it got almost immediate results. As opposed to our annual dilemma about top scorers not being awarded government scholarships to pursue their field of interest, maybe this will give us a real solution to the problem instead of a temporary settlement when it makes headlines about how the top scorer who was missed by the system finally got a scholarship to Ireland to pursue Actuarial Science.

So yes am disillusioned, but I still carry a spark of hope that someday, Malaysians will tell race politics to go get a real job, and we might live together as a real community. Where people would rather come home and not choose to hold jobs overseas as opposed to a true career at home because they have given up with racial stereotypes and lack fair opportunities to be all they can be.

Someday perhaps... someday…

That is why am going home. Because I still have hope for Malaysia…

Untitled

Bowling Philosophy

You know how we bowl side by side, one eye on the scoreboard as we squint down the bowling lane, wondering how many pins will fall to our superior skill? 


What do you think would happen if we stopped bending over and squinting down our respective lanes, and instead of swearing at the ball for 3 whole seconds, we took that time to smile at a fellow bowler, and laughed when the ball went into the drain? Or winked when a fellow bowler got a strike or a spare?


What if we stopped racing, tried not to think of only the final score? What if we bowled just for the fun of it and made friends along the way? 


What if we stopped scrutinising the other's playing technique and just nodded warmly as the other picked up a bowling ball next to us?


What if life was like bowling: its path the bowling lane, fellow bowlers the people we meet along the way, the bowling ball our efforts and work, the pins the returns we get, and the scoreboard our competitive nature? 


What if the act of bowling was bigger than the game? What if living was bigger than being alive?

Rambles.Race. More Rambles

Yep so I've been thinking, well not actually, I make better decisions when I don't think too much and just go with the flow.


I guess I'm keeping Connections at least till this summer. Once I get my posting I'm pretty certain that all blogging whims will be overruled by the need to get back to my loved ones and get decent rest. I hear residency can be hell... and even if I wished otherwise, blogging will become a thing of the past.This blog has been my constant companion through all sorts of times from 4 yrs ago... I know the posts here begin on Sept 2009, but it's in fact from an older blog that doesn't exist anymore. 


I've realised a few things of late:
-I'm pretty readable with or without the blog
-So what if the facts are laid out for people to see?
-I don't have commitment issues. I have attachment issues. This blog staying on would be an excellent example.
-I think that's all actually :P


And to get to the point of this post:


THE WORLDS NEED
Ella Wheeler Wilcox


O many gods, so many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind,
While just the art of being kind
Is all the sad world needs.



That's all we all want and need, isn't it? A bit of kindness.


It has been two months plus since I got back here and lots of things have happened. Things have a way of happening like that I've noticed, whether you expect them to or want them to or not. Another 8 mths till I can go home to people I love and I'm pretty certain this road's gonna be littered with all sorts of random events which make uni life all the sweeter. Four times the current drama looming on the horizon... God give us strength! :P


Right so that didnt make too much sense, but blame it on the slightly sleepy state the food has put me in.


And do you know what's as awesome as loving and caring for someone? It's being loved and cared for in return. Mushiness I know. Just a liddel homesick..


Oh btw, happy belated Halloween and Deepavali to all who celebrate :) Me? I celebrated both :) And erm, focus on the poem, 'cause the rambles wont make sense nyways. It's just an outlet for my slow dribble of thoughts.


Have a great day, all! :)

Charity

“Ippadi anjukkum pattukum kashtapadam pothu, yen ma kaasu veenakarai?”

(When we are suffering to earn fives and tens, why, my girl, are you wasting money?)

That’s what he said when his daughter came home after watching Toy Story for the second time in the cinema.

The young girl stared at her father as he dropped a coin into the old man’s cup and returned the man’s toothless grin with a smile. “Use money, earn money, share it, value it, no need to hoard it.”

“Amma, there’s this concert that all my school friends are going for.”

She just kept stirring the pot full of sothi. The girl watched her mother and then her heart leapt at the slight nod.

“But first put away clothes you’ve outgrown to give to people who really need them.”

“Can’t we have Nutella, Appa?”

His father frowned but put it into the cart wordlessly. He took the bus to work that day and the boy wondered why.

The girl tried her best to sneak the puppy into the compound, but her mother had already noticed the ragged mongrel.

Her expression unreadable, she watched her youngest sigh as the realization that another mouth to feed in her household was just a bit too much to ask for sank in. The girl tried to shoo the pup away, but suddenly the forlorn creature began wagging its tail.

The small girl turned to see her mother place a bowl full of leftover rice and some chicken on the ground before it. She ran to her mother’s side and smiled up at the face she knew so well. “Thank you, Ammi.”

The old aunty was walking in the hot sun, her gait unsteady and barely holding up the two plastic bags full of groceries.

“Kanna, go help that Aunty.” My mother stood there and I wondered why she was making me go when she could have easily gone herself.

When the old aunty gave me a tight hug and slobbery kiss on my cheek, I almost figured out why she had sent me instead.

“You give me for 12 and I’ll buy.” The girl sighed as her Dad walked out of yet another store after haggling over the price of an item.

“Sir, buy this colour book for your daughter.” The girl looked at the boy slightly older than herself, a peddler on the streets, and wondered if he was OK. She was 8. Colouring book for her? Puh-lease!

Her father was already handing over the money. “Study well, son.”

At times like these it hits me that charity begins at home.

Crustaceanness

First off I know I've been MIA and not commenting on your blogs and all. But I'm home and that means little or no spare me time, so bear with me. When I get back to uni I'll catch up on all I've missed. I hope :)

Being home's weird. Hard facts hit home, old friends rediscovered, new friends make waves in our lives. The family never changes at the core though and I like that. That's what coming home means. PEOPLE I belong to. And I've found that I can find that in something other than blood relatives. I'm not too sure what to make of it though.

My family's my family and I've always known they'll be around to catch me and I've never wanted anyone else to cushion any falls before this. Now, I'm afraid that I've become dependent. Yeah, I used the D word. Dependent. And it nags at me.

I've always been me, doing what I want when I want. I'm not a rebel nor a trend-setter. I'm just content to be and believe that in whatever I do, I need to do it right. Now I've begun wondering what THEY think of me. These new people I've become dependent on. And I don't like it.

I'm afraid that these bonds will be severed come a few weeks, coz face it I have massive commitment issues and I know I might end up walking away. I just hope they keep me coming back for more because from where I'm standing right now, the view's pretty good and if I do have to budge, I hope I try to scale this mountain again.

~There's always gonna be another mountain, I'm always gonna wanna make it move~ Yep. I was inspired by Hannah Montana. Lolx.

Back to my train of thoughts. Actually winding country road of thoughts would be more appropriate.

I find myself with this insane need to UNDERSTAND people. I know. Knock me flat and call me blind. I've always liked being able to read people, figure out what makes them work. Hence the field I'm in right now. But there've been a couple of people of late where I want to know every single mundane detail. I wish people came in cans with the ingredients written on the label, along with the calorie count. Then I wouldn't become so bloody obsessed with figuring them out and I can go back to being nice old peace-loving garden-weeding couldnt-give-a-damn-bout-who's-not-talking-to-whom me.

Might as well wish I was a crustacean living in the Pacific then, huh?

Bottom line is this. I'm interested, aware of my inability to commit longterm, too curious even for my usual nosiness, annoyed at myself, slightly excited at my non-crustaceanness.What, I cant be all a lump of cynicism, now can I? I need to believe in SOME things.

I believe in NON CRUSTACEANNESS among other things :)

p/s: Crustaceans feature big in my blog, all for different reasons. I'm gonna have to start a label on that soon. Soon-ish

We’re getting nuclear power in 2021 (2015?)

Wow. What I don’t get is this:

Where are they gonna place the plant? Every inch of our country is filled with life, human or otherwise and having a nuclear powerplant is gonna emit radiation that will seep into the soil, water and ionize air particles. I’m not a nuclear physicist but I do know that no matter how ‘radiation proof’ the structures are and despite ‘protective gear’ radiation is not containable. We’re gonna have thyroid cancer, double headed-crab-eating-squirrels, purple carrots, giant periuk keras that eat baby bunnies and maybe kill off a few hundred endangered species that are being homed in our generally green nation. Oh, did I mention the potential for superb hair loss that comes with just bathing in radiated water?

Don’t we have an abundance of alternative power sources? I mean, we have so many rivers and hydropower is really the main power generator in our lush paradise.  We have solar power possibilities, which while being expensive initially, is definitely more cost effective in terms of lower medical bills, lesser environmental damage and lower maintenance fee, or so I’ve read. Do I need to mention that we’re located pretty much on the Equator, so sunlight is available all year round? Screw windpower, that’s undependable with the monsoons and all… And weren’t we discovering the wonders of palm oil? Hydrogen-fueled things? Come on… if we can set the world record for most number of people drinking milk at the same time, I’m sure we can do something about this, no?

Are we really all that eager to appear ‘technologically advanced’? It’s not some political gimmick or attempt at power intimidation or a ‘struggle’ to gain place in the eyes of the world, now is it? Malaysia can’t be all that shallow minded. Please. Splitting atoms to create energy while being really cool in concept is scary. That same knowledge can be used to unleash havoc and I’m not too comfortable with that thought, even if it is for ‘defensive’ purposes only. Imagine if the different races at home decided that they wanted to have a go at each other (again!), we would face more than Molotov cocktails, cow heads and racial slurs. Are we MATURED enough to handle this responsibility? Though it pains me to say it about my own kind, I seriously doubt it.

And incidentally, don’t we have more pressing concerns? Let me name a few that’s got me all jittery, ya?

1.   

ss  1. Economic forecast: We’ll be broke by 2019. Unless of course the world ends in 2012.

2.   

      2. We have lost so many species and will continue to do so for our nature conservation efforts are nowhere near ‘the safe zone’ : we have the penyu, Sumatran tigers, orang utans, corals off Perhentian, tapir and many more that I don’t know about that are slowly going extinct.

3.   

      3. Horrible public transport, diverse road infrastructure. Yeah it’s extensive in the cities but just how DEPENDABLE is it? In the other parts of our fair land, I’ve seen potholes the size of hippos and roads the width of bicycle tracks.

4.   

      4. Education system. Our education system is constantly being revamped and while more and more are scoring straight As in national exams, what exactly is the QUALITY of that A? And our education system focuses on the Rs, which is good, but when it comes to international matters, we’re a pretty close-minded race. Really. Our Geography and World History knowledge is laughable compared to that of two or three generations ago. If we don’t understand them, how in the world are we gonna be a part of the ‘global communtiy’? Don’t get me started on our linguistic capabilities.

5.   

      5. Work, projects, pride in the nation. What one PM wants the other neglects and focuses on a whole different concept. While diversifying is pretty much a market priority, we do need some continuity too and it has to be made apparent to the general public. Let us know and appreciate each other’s contributions.

6.   

      6. Sports. What do we play exactly? Besides Nicole David, and LCW we have pretty much lost all hope in ever being a sporty nation and one has to wonder why. We’re Asians after all, aren’t we supposed to be lithe and built to the ground? We have a national sports school and so many incentives to encourage athleticism and yet… I’ll just leave that hanging.

7.   

      7. Garbage disposal and sanitation. We fought like dogs and cats over buying an INCINERATOR and we’re giving the silent nod for nuclear power? The logic of that escapes me. And sanitation… well, we need help. A lot of help.

For some one who shies away from all things political I have some pretty disturbing thoughts that stem from it. Everything I’ve expressed is the concerned viewpoint of a citizen over this nuclear power issue.

Let me end by a quote by Einstein on cold fission and another by the guy responsible for the Manhattan Project:

When you see something that is technically sweet, you go ahead and do it and you argue about what to do about it only after you have had your technical success. That is the way it was with the atomic bomb.  -J. Robert Oppenheimer-

To have security against atomic bombs and against the other biological weapons, we have to prevent war, for if we cannot prevent war every nation will use every means that is at their disposal; and in spite of all promises they make, they will do it. 

-Albert Einstein-

Address to the symposium "The Social Task of the Scientist in the Atomic Era" at the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, New Jersey (17 November 1946)  

It seems to me that neither one was too happy with the moral outcomes of nuclear technology. But do correct me if I am wrong, for I am just one person with a subjective opinion. 

Y’all have a nice day.

Appreciation

I thought I'd attempt to pull a Pollyanna and learn to be thankful right now for what I have instead of waiting for tomorrow to be able to smile again...

Weirdly, this helped me feel better somewhat

I hope everyone has a great day ahead! :)

Bigger than HIV?

I noticed it when I was 2 customers away from the check out counter. There was a dark discolouration at the corner of the cashier's mouth and the lady in front of me was rattling on and on about 'Gerpes' and her male companion made a crude remark that I unfortunately understood. Idiot.


When I got to the cashier, I smiled and told her that I'd be needing 2 plastic bags, please and I realised that in all probability the girl had an exacerbation of HSV. I considered the alternative of a malignised mole (meaning melanoma) but it was more of an ulcer, the location was typical for the HSV infection and given the unpredictable weather and dark rings under her eyes, the girl was probably immunosuppressed - the main reason that HSV flares up again from the latent form. Too medical-ish? :)


My point is, the couple before me should have known better than to throw words like that around, because like all other STDs, it attracts social stigma. If I with my broken Russian could have understood what they had meant, I'm sure the young girl did as well. Will someone say 'idiot' for me? Please?


The crappy thing about herpes is this: once you get it, there's no guarantee that it won't flare up again even with proper medication. It's a ghost that'll follow you around all life long. I'm qouting a lecturer here - sort of!


Herpes is more than an STD. Did you know that the chicken pox virus is a member of the Herpes family too? Yep. Chicken pox and shingles are related to HSVs too. 


EBV infections which look like the common flu/sore throat is also a Herpes virus, causing infectious mononucleosis and nasal carcinoma in susceptible populations.


Kaposi's sarcoma which look a lot like tumours of blood vessels is usually associated with AIDS, but in fact occurs in systemic dysbiosis and  other immunosuppressed states as well.


There is CMV which also looks like the common flu, the highest intrauterine infection to date and ones of the TORCH-ES infections the Ob-Gyns keep harping about.


Then there are the Herpes virus 6 and 7 which are still being studied. Type 6 is sort of connected with diaper rash. Really.


All in all, the 8 Herpes viruses are nothing to snigger about. I read in passing some time ago that in a decade plus Herpes viruses will become a bigger threat than AIDS so it's time people realised that going around cracking 'Gerpes' jokes at the expense of another person's self esteem doesn't make you chaste, it makes you an airhead. 


Sorry bout the vent, think of it as a part of the information parcel ;)

Lessons on Beauty

“Just because you’re beautiful, you don’t get the right to treat others like sh**.”

-          -  from the movie ‘10 Things I Hate About You’

“Oh, sure he’s gorgeous today. Give it another three years and he’ll get fat.”

-         -   from a (slightly?) intoxicated friend during a postmortem analysis of a failed relationship

“The most beautiful thing I’ve seen today is your smile.”

-           - Anonymous

Moral of the story:

Beauty won’t help much if your attitude’s out of line.

Beauty doesn’t last. Or is the lesson more of a ‘don’t end up with a ‘pretty’ boy’? ;)

Smile :) 

On Children.Not A Happy Post

          Kids are time consuming, nerve wrecking and totally unpredictable. Even more so when they aren't our own!You would think that they'd be less complex because they are essentially miniature versions of us, no? But after our third posting at the department, the little stethoscope-demanding gremlins seem to have grown on us.

          All that said and done, I still fail to get why people have kids and then throw them aside.  

Case 1: Beautiful woman with gorgeous eyes talks to us. Educated, confident, Orthodox Christian. Then we walk into the procedure room later and there she is, getting a D&C (abortion) Unwanted pregnancy? Use protection, dammit. Not like you live in a Muslim country without sex-ed, yeah?

Case 2: Well-to-do couple, stable home. When we met their child (then 5 months plus), they were nowhere in sight and had stopped visiting the child when he was 1 month old. Why? Coz he was born with microcephalia (small skull and brain) Yes, death is imminent for a child in that condition but he was still their child. He still needed their love. We just learnt that he passed away a few weeks back. I doubt anyone claimed his body. Please do say a prayer for him.

Case 3: It happens ALL the time at home and I'm getting bloody sick of it. Woman (in most cases it's a GIRL, not a WOMAN) has kid, wraps it (or doesn't) and hides baby in bushes/toilet/whatever place she thinks is safe. Whatever place she thinks is safe, is NOT. The kid will probably be hungry/ suffer from overcooling/ get an infection/ be bitten by insects/ be afraid. Yes, newborns can feel fear. These 'mothers' never hand in the child to welfare/ the police because they fear the potential social stigma. Cow dung, if you ask me.

Case 4: Abuse. We hear about abuse in the name of God (like God would tell you to burn the kid with incense or whip him till he bleeds?), in parental conflict, in poverty/after drug or alcohol consumption. I freaking hate it. I've even met with a mum who made her kids drink paraquat (weedkiller) after some problems with her spouse. How are we supposed to be IMPARTIAL and WANT to save the life of a woman who would harm innocent beings under her care? Don't get me wrong, but most child abuse cases involve the mothers or female guardians. At times I find myself cursing Hippocrates and his oath.

          I don't know why I'm writing this. It isn't going to change the fate of these kids, but it sucks to see kids like that. It's just unfair. I usually think of their shy smiles, confiding whispers, Winnie the Pooh bedspreads and little finger nails but I got a little emo after reading about the babysitter and lover who caused the death of a toddler. Inhumane.

Are women REALLY the better half? 

          Women succumb to selfish acts, give in to fear for 'social standing' and then behave like men are incapable of rational thought when in fact it is the woman who makes the FINAL decision on abortion/ abandoning the child. 

          The fact that I am even blogging against my own gender proves how wrong I feel this is. 'This' being us women smearing camel shit all over the notion of motherhood and motherliness.

          Forget breastfeeding campaigns. Teach the women how to BE women and not vile ar** wipes, for our educated women of today have forgotten the basic cave-men era lessons of loving and nurturing.

          I know the post is full of rantings and negative emotions. My apologies, but I had to get these feelings into a semblance of order. I don't function well with pent up chaotic anger, but expressed 'controlled' fury like this is more manageable :)

"God is in the face of a child "

My mum told me this once when my nephew was born. I couldn't agree with her more. 

Looking forward to more drool faces and pouty small round faces, because I think CHILDREN are the better half of the population. 

On Anger

"When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear."         

- Mark Twain, American writer and humourist - 

Have a nice day, people! :)

Helping the Heart-Attackee

It’s February, and that means it’s heart awareness month. The leading cause of death worldwide is heart disease and related conditions, but you probably already knew that, yeah? ;)

I thought I’d share some info on heart attack, the most notably famous heart disease and also due to an e-mail I received (will come to that later…)

I’ve faithfully copied excerpts from About.com and familydoctor.org and pasted them here because they limit the medical jargon. Read it, ok?

I'm having a heart attack? (familydoctor.org)

The pain of a heart attack can feel like bad heartburn. You may also be having a heart attack if you:

• Feel a pressure or crushing pain in your chest, sometimes with sweating, dizziness, nausea or vomiting
• Feel pain that extends from your chest into the jaw, left arm or left shoulder
• Feel tightness in your chest
• Have shortness of breath for more than a couple of seconds
• Feel weak, lightheaded or faint
• Have sudden overwhelming fatigue

Don't ignore the pain or discomfort. If you think you are having heart problems or a heart attack, get help immediately. The sooner you get treatment, the greater the chance that the doctors can prevent further damage to the heart muscle.

What should I do if I think I am having a heart attack?

Right away, call for an ambulance to take you to the hospital. Don’t try to drive yourself. While you wait for the ambulance to come, chew one regular tablet of aspirin. Don't take the aspirin if you're allergic to aspirin.

If you can, go to a hospital with advanced care facilities for people with heart attacks. In these medical centers, the latest heart attack technology is available 24 hours a day. How well you survive a heart attack depends on how quickly you get treatment, how much damage there is to the heart, and where that damage is

What should I do if my family member/ friend is having a heart attack?(About.com – just slightly edited :D It was on how to help your spouse…)

1.       Have him stop all physical activity and sit and rest if he suddenly starts experiencing severe pain in their chest.

2.       Call 911 or call out for help if you are not near a telephone.

* In Malaysia, it’s 991 and not 911. Please try to remember, folks! It varies from country to country, I think.

3.       Push fast on his chest.

4.       If you can, give two rescue breaths after every 30 chest compressions.

5.       You don't have to stop to check for improvement.

6.       Don't stop until help arrives. This is because blood circulation increases with each chest compression. It is important to keep the blood flowing.

Tips:

1.       Don't advise him to start coughing. That advice that has been circulating around the Internet can not be verified by medical literature. The American Heart Association does not endorse cough CPR.

2.       Aspirin is known to prevent blood platelets from sticking together and can prevent a clot from getting bigger. The next time you have an appointment with your doctor, ask about the pros and cons of either of you chewing and swallowing one 325 mg. aspirin in an emergency situation.

* The cough-can-save- your- life-during-a-heart-attack legend is not true. Stop circulating that e-mail, please. (Yep, that’s the e-mail I mentioned earlier) Coughing may help regulate the heart rhythm (hence used in arrhythmias, but by PROFESSIONALS only) but most heart attacks are caused by thromboembolisms and vessel spasms. The coughing may further propagate the emboli.  

Summary? Stick to pressing the heart area – way safer.

* Learning CPR is not a bad idea, you know. Even if you are fortunate enough not to use it, a little extra knowledge couldn’t hurt, could it? ;)

* Heart diseases are preventable. Go google it or my post will be waaaaayyyy too long :P And please, bug your parents/uncles/aunties into going for regular health checkups. It really does make a difference between life and death.

* If a person’s having a heart attack, he has approximately 10 seconds before he loses consciousness. React fast. If the guy does pass out, DO NOT panic. Keep doing the chest compressions and rescue breaths till help arrives, all right? It keeps his heart pumping and that is vital.

Hope the articles I celok-ed help somewhat! Have a nice day, people.

Oh, I used ‘him’ coz typing ‘him/her’ took too much time, plus I’m notoriously lazy ‘bout things like this and

‘celok-ed’ is the local term for ‘filched’, in case you were wondering. It’s in Manglish ;)

p/s : Click here - for individual risk assessment . That makes me sound like a hypochondriac, doesn't it? Oh, well! :P 

Cooking vs. Starving

I like cooking. Cutting vegetable, onions, garlic and what-not is very structured and when I'm under pressure, i appreciate the routine. The cooking, which is an 'art of dumping everything within reach into the pot' is a vent for emotions and washing up later is satisfying, it gives me a sense of accomplishment. That was a month ago..

Haven't been cooking lately.

Probably coz after 3 plus weeks at home, i find my own food inadequate.

The taste of my mum's food, no matter how simple, always lingers in my palate long after the last morsels have taken their journey of ultimate destruction down my alimentary tract. I don't know how she does it but she must have magic at her fingertips coz after her food, even a dreary day has rainbows and chirping sparrows in it! really!

What i'd give for rasam, fried fish wid spinach and grated carrots prepared by my mother's very small hands right now...mmmm!

Cooking. I'll have to learn how to enjoy all over again now or i'll be starving this winter! =P

Forks in the Road

We actually used to be friends. That’s what i thought as i looked at pictures of people i used to spend hours a day with, people whom i still think about off and on but nonetheless have become almoststrangers over time and distance.

It’s a peculiar feeling when i can have so many memories with a bunch of people and yet feel as cut off from them as i did just minutes ago, browsing through pictures on Facebook. I have a different life now, as do they and we’ve all changed in innumerable ways that make us so very different from the bunch that played and sang and fought together.

Yet something holds us together still.

We had traveled along the same path until we hit a fork in the road, each taking a different path. Along the way, we made even more choices, each decision indelibly and irrevocably forcing us apart, till we can hardly recognise each other today.

And when we bump into each other, we manage a smile and small talk. Neither once-friend implies at the existence of an invisible wall between each other. We laugh, swap stories and make some morememories. At the end of it, we go back to our current lives,subconsciously happy to be able to stop the reminiscing, which while holds a bitter-sweet taste is still simply impractical to hold on to too tightly. Grabbing handfuls of memories is like holding hot cinder, you’ll only burn your hands, hurt your pride and not be able to work for your daily loaf of bread ?

Yet, we look forward to these meetings, wondering who and what still hold sway over our heart strings.

They are the people who have helped us become who we are and may well help define who we will become. That was why i clicked that link to those fateful pictures on Facebook, thus provoking this piece of uttermushiness.

While i’m in my few minutes of thinking of the people who have walked in and out of my life, allow me to say that i wish the best of all things to come your way. If , no, when i lose myself in some mundane taskafter this, my wish becomes no less sincere. I’m still hoping for the happiness, success and inner tranquility of all the individuals i’ve ever had the privilege of calling friend.

This blog goes out to friends everywhere who have helped each other grow, through the good and the bad. Just like in my other blog article ‘magic’, i dedicate this article to my family and friends, in whatever corner of the world you may be in! =)