parenting 101 #2 ;)

Economics 101

You know the thing about the Cs ? Cash, Condo, Car, Credit card? It's overrated. It means financial commitment and short tempers. Why did barter trading fail again?:P

photo courtesy of bizaims.com

ikan bakar - fish grilled in banana leaves, covered in spicy marinate

Rathi was not sure why she was there. She knew she liked spending time with him, he had the right balance of light hearted humour and awkward charm. She knew she liked sharing odd details with him. She also knew of his taste in girls and that she was nowhere near that range.

She stared at a back that was becoming fast becoming familiar to her. He had his blazer off and was wearing a light blue work shirt with small white stripes. Rathi looked away and waited for him to take the escalator down one floor to where she stood – Baskin Robbins.

“I should play it cool,” she thought to herself and decided she would be all grown up about it. Instead she turned and smiled as he walked along the row of shops towards her. She did not realize it then but she was smiling for a good five minutes, taking in his slightly rolling gait, the slight stubble and his loafers.

“So what’s the plan?” he asked as he walked up to her.

“Dinner would be good,” Rathi said a bit stupidly. “Ikan bakar?” she added quickly, trying to save a measure of dignity.

“Ok, suggestions as to where? The best ikan bakar I know of is right here in this mall.” His smile was slow and Rathi was pretty certain he had no clue as to what it was doing to her insides. At least she hoped he did not.

“There’s this place in Damansara. I think. Went there once and I’ve yet to find a place better than that. How? Ok ah?”

James shrugged. “The thing is I parked over at the Gardens. You don’t mind the walk, do you?”

Rathi laughed. “Sure beats taking the commuter.”

They walked along, chatting about nothing much in particular. They spoke about Baskin Robbins and about how he once donned a pink hairband and another friend flashed a pink bra to get the Wednesday discount and Rathi wondered in a small corner of her mind if she had ever owned a pink bra.

Then they got to the car park and James was frowning. “I think I parked on this side,” he said a bit hesitantly and led the way up the ramp and then stopped short. The look on his face as he turned around was so comical it made Rathi laugh in bed for months to come. “The car’s on the other side.” They walked back down the ramp and took the ramp leading to the oppsite side of the car park.

James tried to keep a straight face but he could see the flicker of a laugh on the face of the small woman he was with. He led her to his pride and joy, a red Ford, as old as him, but somehow intimately connected to each of his phases of life. He watched as she pressed her hand against the windshield at a McD’s drivethru sticker.

“So you have this and have yet to stick your roadtax, eh?” she asked quizzically.

“A man’s gotta get his priorities in life right, you know?” James grinned as she laughed a most unladylike laugh and told her a patchy history of his Ford and how it had covered 1000km within the KL-selangor radius within a week more than once.

Rathi smiled and inside she wondered again why he went through so much of trouble for other people and why they hardly knew anything about him as a person. Everything people had said about him being a lady’s man could be true, but all she saw was a pretty normal guy who she liked whiling away the hours with.

She noticed his firm grip on the steering, the relaxed manner with which he shifted gear. She blinked a bit and turned to look out of the window to stop herself from staring and remembering ridiculous details like his stubby fingers with squarish nails or the strong chin or short thick eyelashes.

“Ok so we’re at Damansara uptown, now where is it?”

Rathi squinted at the buildings. “This is where Farah works and did you know 99 Speedmart has the cheapest milk powder?” Saying that she kicked herself inwardly. Way to go to impress a guy, talk grocery shopping list with him. “Let me get the directions, ok? I know there’s a Famous Amos shop opposite the hawker centre.”

James frowned a bit as she asked for directions and grinned when she said she had directed him to the wrong place. They were supposed to go to SS2.

“Oh my God, did you just get me lost in my own backyard? The irony…” the melodrama in his voice made them laugh. He pulled over to the side of the road and Rathi watched as he determinedly tapped on his phone screen and GoogleMapped the hawker centre.

Twenty minutes later they were seated under the KL sky, yellow bulbs shining overhead as they tucked into ikan bakar, claypot chicken rice and popiah nyonya. She remembered his need to drown the fish in sambal and his ironic humour as he recounted work to her. They laughed over common friends and how their friends were convinced that something was up between the two of them.

As James laughed it off, Rathi told him how he was supposedly dating two other women at the same time, all mere speculations and how she had told a friend that it was his life and he could date whomever he fancied. She listened as to how he had developed feelings for one and was best friends with the other. She remembered how each guy friend she had ever known had fallen head over heels for both of these girls. Rathi looked down a bit self-consciously at her yellowed nails; yellowed from the saffron she had rubbed into the fish she had cooked earlier in the day. She could feel her appetite lessening as he described how those two girls were every guy’s dream girls and Rathi was enthralled. “So that was definitely his type of girl, eh?” she thought to herself.  

“So leaving on Wednesday, huh?” his sudden question brought her out of her reverie.

“Yup,” she replied, nodding. “It has been a good summer, you’ve made it a bit more interesting.”

James’ expression was unreadable as they drove back. They were racing against the clock as he had an appointment with his mother. His phone rang and he picked up.

“Which girl you with now?” Rathi could hear his mother ask teasingly on the phone. “Amma will be a bit late, Aiya,” she heard her say.

“It’s OK, Amma, I’ll just hang out with my friend a bit longer.” Saying that he hung up, smiled at Rathi and made a U-turn at the traffic light. “Let’s maximize our time together, shall we?”

Rathi laughed and wondered if he knew how charming his subtle wit was. They drove back to PJ and swapped stories on PJ outings, his more social oriented, Rathi’s a bit more commonplace.

“You do realize we’re going around this roundabout for a second time, right?” Rathi pointed out.

“Ah, damn, you noticed,” his voice was light. “It’s just nice, driving around, I do it at times.”

“Indicator’s still on,” Rathi said and smiled at the flash of annoyance in the corner of his eye. It felt shockingly comfortable, spending time with this person she was just getting to know.

His phone rang again. He was to go get his mum in fifteen minutes.

The drive back was relatively silent, each lost in thought.

“The white gate,” Rathi said, aware that she might never see him again. “Thanks for dinner, twas good.”

He held out his hand. “I’ll see you around, then.”

Rathi stared at that hand for a while then smiled and reached out for an awkward half hug. She felt the slightest sense of relief as he hugged her back and then they drew apart and she opened the door. She was about to close it again, but then bent down and said seriously, “You still owe me Vitagen you know, I guessed your passion for cars and interest in photography without even knowing you.”

His slow smile wreaked the same havoc on her insides and she gripped the car door a bit more firmly. “You should have reminded me, next time OK?”

Rathi nodded, not trusting herself to answer.

She closed the door and waved. The car did not move. She sighed. He was obviously one of the few guys left that wouldn’t leave until she was safe inside the house. She locked the gate and watched the red car move away.

“Hi, Farah,” she said a bit listlessly, suddenly feeling empty. “Gonna change.” Rathi went into her room and sat on the edge of her bed. So what if she did not see him anymore, she would still try and keep in contact with him. Being his friend was all she wanted, right? Not like he would look at her in any other way. But why had he made that U-turn and that unneeded roundabout circling? What was that? Was that how he was with all the girls? Rathi shook her head.

“Stop over analyzing. He’s being a friend, hopefully enjoying your company as much as you enjoy his,” she muttered under her breath. She giggled as she remembered how she had gotten a hug back.

45 minutes later she dialed his number. “Back home safe?” she asked him.

“Yup, made it just before the weekend jam. What’s plans for the night?”

They kept talking for a while more and as they shared stories and she told him how she was checking out his ex-girlfriends, he wondered what was going on. He decided he’d just go with the flow. After all she was leaving in a few days, and she was the nerd of the group. No way in hell she was developing an attachment for him. She had already established that she did not believe in relationships and had even ‘promoted’ one of her childhood friends as someone he should consider for a serious relationship. Serious relationship. Like he needed one right now. Or ever.

Somehow Rathi’s direct interest in him had a sort of magnetic pull. There was no guile there, at least none he could sense. She was a strange person, hardly the run of the mill girl people fell for. Eh wait what was he thinking. He smiled and went to do his laundry, trying to understand why Rathi kept talking to him or texting him or why he did the same. Boredom, perhaps?

The next morning when he woke up, he looked at his phone. No text message yet. Then his phone vibrated. It was from Rathi. He smiled as he read the message. It was nice to have a friend by him day in and day out. He remembered telling her how he had not texted or called anyone this much since his last relationship. He remembered how he had said it in passing but had looked at her for a response.

It would never work, whatever it is they were playing at. But for as long as it made them both happy, he’d keep at it. It was not as if either of them was looking for anything serious.

Prologue: James and Rathi are currently dating, nothing serious, just taking things as they come. But they’ve worked out a confidant system and have reached the you-annoy-me-lah stage and are still there in each other’s faces day in and day out. Neither one believes in relationships up till today.

*disclaimer: similarities to real events and people living or dead is almost purely coincidental

Over

The semester, my undergrad life. New beginnings, continuations, whichever way I want my loved ones there each day. God willing..

Apologising

...doesnt always put you in the wrong, nor does loyalty prove you the better person. There's always a grey area and if you wanna sleep soundly at night, you've gotta work it out and not let it fester.

Untitled

It Has Been A While

Yes, it has...I've been otherwise occupied and intend to get this blog back up and running... Soon..erm soon-ish :P

Xmas

It's Christmas today here. I'm splat in Eastern Europe, in a country where the people are predominantly Orthodox Christians. For them Christmas is on Jan 7th :)

I was going through my bloglist and realised that stuff I read comes predominantly from Malaysia, Sri Lanka and India... There are the odd African and American blogs out there that I follow, but they're rare and few in number.. Just a random thought.

First snowfall during our first year

Homesick

The title says it all. Ggrr...I'm homesick for the people I love.

Bowling Philosophy

You know how we bowl side by side, one eye on the scoreboard as we squint down the bowling lane, wondering how many pins will fall to our superior skill? 


What do you think would happen if we stopped bending over and squinting down our respective lanes, and instead of swearing at the ball for 3 whole seconds, we took that time to smile at a fellow bowler, and laughed when the ball went into the drain? Or winked when a fellow bowler got a strike or a spare?


What if we stopped racing, tried not to think of only the final score? What if we bowled just for the fun of it and made friends along the way? 


What if we stopped scrutinising the other's playing technique and just nodded warmly as the other picked up a bowling ball next to us?


What if life was like bowling: its path the bowling lane, fellow bowlers the people we meet along the way, the bowling ball our efforts and work, the pins the returns we get, and the scoreboard our competitive nature? 


What if the act of bowling was bigger than the game? What if living was bigger than being alive?

Ahimsa?

That basically means non violence... and to me it covers physical, intentional and verbal nonviolence too.

I've been tempted to kill off my blog though... since February actually, after a conversation with an acquaintance who got it into his head that a certain post was about him. The post was subsequently deleted because I got sick of trying to explain myself to someone I couldnt give two figs about. Yep. I'm a horrible person that way.

Back to what I was saying. Blogging was a hobby, a way to connect. Now one year past... it feels like a heavy chain about my neck. People I'm close to, people I barely know, people I would rather keep their distance from me... It hit me that they're getting an insight to me. And I'm not too comfortable with that. I've always been a private person... and to think a person I smile in acknowledgement at but have never had a decent conversation with might know what I had for breakfast this morning is unnerving. Yep. I'm a bit on the paranoid side. Not that I'm being stalked or anything, it's just well, it's me. It's a lot nicer to just blend in and not get too much attention, except from people who really matter...loved ones, family, true friends, you get the picture.

So to kill or not to kill. I don't know. Maybe I just wont post for a bit and take a breather.. too many articles I'm attached to here. Maybe I should just say to heck with it, my blog, my thoughts, so what if some people don't like it... just learn to deal with it? :S

Sigh. Undecided. It's a terrible feeling. I respect people who can make decisions in a split second. Me... it usually takes me longer than the average person. I mean, hello... I've been weighing this relatively simple decision for around 7 months. There are people who decide who they want to live with for the rest of their lives on a first date. There are those who walk away from all worldly possessions to work with gorillas in South Africa. World leaders decide how much to cut carbon emissions by in a matter of days.

But I LIKE blogging. Sigh. Till later then

Crustaceanness

First off I know I've been MIA and not commenting on your blogs and all. But I'm home and that means little or no spare me time, so bear with me. When I get back to uni I'll catch up on all I've missed. I hope :)

Being home's weird. Hard facts hit home, old friends rediscovered, new friends make waves in our lives. The family never changes at the core though and I like that. That's what coming home means. PEOPLE I belong to. And I've found that I can find that in something other than blood relatives. I'm not too sure what to make of it though.

My family's my family and I've always known they'll be around to catch me and I've never wanted anyone else to cushion any falls before this. Now, I'm afraid that I've become dependent. Yeah, I used the D word. Dependent. And it nags at me.

I've always been me, doing what I want when I want. I'm not a rebel nor a trend-setter. I'm just content to be and believe that in whatever I do, I need to do it right. Now I've begun wondering what THEY think of me. These new people I've become dependent on. And I don't like it.

I'm afraid that these bonds will be severed come a few weeks, coz face it I have massive commitment issues and I know I might end up walking away. I just hope they keep me coming back for more because from where I'm standing right now, the view's pretty good and if I do have to budge, I hope I try to scale this mountain again.

~There's always gonna be another mountain, I'm always gonna wanna make it move~ Yep. I was inspired by Hannah Montana. Lolx.

Back to my train of thoughts. Actually winding country road of thoughts would be more appropriate.

I find myself with this insane need to UNDERSTAND people. I know. Knock me flat and call me blind. I've always liked being able to read people, figure out what makes them work. Hence the field I'm in right now. But there've been a couple of people of late where I want to know every single mundane detail. I wish people came in cans with the ingredients written on the label, along with the calorie count. Then I wouldn't become so bloody obsessed with figuring them out and I can go back to being nice old peace-loving garden-weeding couldnt-give-a-damn-bout-who's-not-talking-to-whom me.

Might as well wish I was a crustacean living in the Pacific then, huh?

Bottom line is this. I'm interested, aware of my inability to commit longterm, too curious even for my usual nosiness, annoyed at myself, slightly excited at my non-crustaceanness.What, I cant be all a lump of cynicism, now can I? I need to believe in SOME things.

I believe in NON CRUSTACEANNESS among other things :)

p/s: Crustaceans feature big in my blog, all for different reasons. I'm gonna have to start a label on that soon. Soon-ish

We’re getting nuclear power in 2021 (2015?)

Wow. What I don’t get is this:

Where are they gonna place the plant? Every inch of our country is filled with life, human or otherwise and having a nuclear powerplant is gonna emit radiation that will seep into the soil, water and ionize air particles. I’m not a nuclear physicist but I do know that no matter how ‘radiation proof’ the structures are and despite ‘protective gear’ radiation is not containable. We’re gonna have thyroid cancer, double headed-crab-eating-squirrels, purple carrots, giant periuk keras that eat baby bunnies and maybe kill off a few hundred endangered species that are being homed in our generally green nation. Oh, did I mention the potential for superb hair loss that comes with just bathing in radiated water?

Don’t we have an abundance of alternative power sources? I mean, we have so many rivers and hydropower is really the main power generator in our lush paradise.  We have solar power possibilities, which while being expensive initially, is definitely more cost effective in terms of lower medical bills, lesser environmental damage and lower maintenance fee, or so I’ve read. Do I need to mention that we’re located pretty much on the Equator, so sunlight is available all year round? Screw windpower, that’s undependable with the monsoons and all… And weren’t we discovering the wonders of palm oil? Hydrogen-fueled things? Come on… if we can set the world record for most number of people drinking milk at the same time, I’m sure we can do something about this, no?

Are we really all that eager to appear ‘technologically advanced’? It’s not some political gimmick or attempt at power intimidation or a ‘struggle’ to gain place in the eyes of the world, now is it? Malaysia can’t be all that shallow minded. Please. Splitting atoms to create energy while being really cool in concept is scary. That same knowledge can be used to unleash havoc and I’m not too comfortable with that thought, even if it is for ‘defensive’ purposes only. Imagine if the different races at home decided that they wanted to have a go at each other (again!), we would face more than Molotov cocktails, cow heads and racial slurs. Are we MATURED enough to handle this responsibility? Though it pains me to say it about my own kind, I seriously doubt it.

And incidentally, don’t we have more pressing concerns? Let me name a few that’s got me all jittery, ya?

1.   

ss  1. Economic forecast: We’ll be broke by 2019. Unless of course the world ends in 2012.

2.   

      2. We have lost so many species and will continue to do so for our nature conservation efforts are nowhere near ‘the safe zone’ : we have the penyu, Sumatran tigers, orang utans, corals off Perhentian, tapir and many more that I don’t know about that are slowly going extinct.

3.   

      3. Horrible public transport, diverse road infrastructure. Yeah it’s extensive in the cities but just how DEPENDABLE is it? In the other parts of our fair land, I’ve seen potholes the size of hippos and roads the width of bicycle tracks.

4.   

      4. Education system. Our education system is constantly being revamped and while more and more are scoring straight As in national exams, what exactly is the QUALITY of that A? And our education system focuses on the Rs, which is good, but when it comes to international matters, we’re a pretty close-minded race. Really. Our Geography and World History knowledge is laughable compared to that of two or three generations ago. If we don’t understand them, how in the world are we gonna be a part of the ‘global communtiy’? Don’t get me started on our linguistic capabilities.

5.   

      5. Work, projects, pride in the nation. What one PM wants the other neglects and focuses on a whole different concept. While diversifying is pretty much a market priority, we do need some continuity too and it has to be made apparent to the general public. Let us know and appreciate each other’s contributions.

6.   

      6. Sports. What do we play exactly? Besides Nicole David, and LCW we have pretty much lost all hope in ever being a sporty nation and one has to wonder why. We’re Asians after all, aren’t we supposed to be lithe and built to the ground? We have a national sports school and so many incentives to encourage athleticism and yet… I’ll just leave that hanging.

7.   

      7. Garbage disposal and sanitation. We fought like dogs and cats over buying an INCINERATOR and we’re giving the silent nod for nuclear power? The logic of that escapes me. And sanitation… well, we need help. A lot of help.

For some one who shies away from all things political I have some pretty disturbing thoughts that stem from it. Everything I’ve expressed is the concerned viewpoint of a citizen over this nuclear power issue.

Let me end by a quote by Einstein on cold fission and another by the guy responsible for the Manhattan Project:

When you see something that is technically sweet, you go ahead and do it and you argue about what to do about it only after you have had your technical success. That is the way it was with the atomic bomb.  -J. Robert Oppenheimer-

To have security against atomic bombs and against the other biological weapons, we have to prevent war, for if we cannot prevent war every nation will use every means that is at their disposal; and in spite of all promises they make, they will do it. 

-Albert Einstein-

Address to the symposium "The Social Task of the Scientist in the Atomic Era" at the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, New Jersey (17 November 1946)  

It seems to me that neither one was too happy with the moral outcomes of nuclear technology. But do correct me if I am wrong, for I am just one person with a subjective opinion. 

Y’all have a nice day.

Awake at 3am When I Don't Want To Be

I’d seen you around, heard talk of you before. Somewhere along the way we began exchanging smiles of acknowledgement. I began noticing your face whenever we were in the same room and started wondering if you were doing the same. Never thought you were much to look at before, but I stand corrected. I never really thought about it at all. Now I have to admit that I seem to find you pleasing to the eye, and when you speak it makes me smile. And it leaves me wondering…

I heard you on the drums and stories of your ineffable humour somehow always reach my ears. I never go looking for these snippets. Honest. I don’t know much else about you except that you seem like a pretty interesting person, a person I would have enjoyed getting to know only if circumstances had been different.

But the way things stand, you’ll go your way, and I’ll go mine, sharing nothing more than a minute’s polite conversation for a little while longer.

*****************************

Tried writing on the scenario above but I kept getting stuck because it hasn’t played out in real life yet and me being me, I need real life inspiration to spin a story. *sigh*

Perhaps in a couple of months when this is in the perfect past I’ll be able to word it out, when I know for sure the outcome and the people involved are no longer sharing my elevator every morning and evening.

Or maybe the words aren’t coming out right because I’m pushing my neurons to work at 3 am on a weekend when I’ve been relaxing for a good whole day prior to this doing pretty much nothing.

My alarm clock will ring in about 5 hours and I’ll begin my Sunday and I’m sincerely hoping that it’ll be a productive day because being a bum can get depressing. I think that’s why psychiatrists keep ‘suggesting’ that depressed individuals get a hobby… I totally get it now. I’m depressed enough to kill a cockroach. Usually I run away screaming because I hate their hairy legs and weird smell. Ok, am totally rambling now but sleep hasn’t set in yet!

On a different note, my roommate made buttercake and it’s a perfect pre-dawn snack for an insomniac like myself. I say pre-dawn because the sun rises at 4.30 nowadays. I might see the sunrise before I fall off into elusive slumber. Insomnia has its upsides I guess :)

My mum just called. It’s 7.30 back home and she had just finished sending my brother off to work. Dad’s still asleep. Sister and the cavalry are there for a few days. Sis-in-law and niece are still snuggled in bed. That’s where I’ll be in 31 days exactly and it’s just a matter of counting down the days now…

Though once I get home there’ll be a two month silence on my blog I suspect because when I am home my clock seems to have lesser than 24 hours a day :)

Right. This has got to be the most pointless post that I’ve ever written, but at least it’s giving me something to do. It was between pecking this out on my keypad and studying intusseption (a nenonate disease) and obviously intusseption won - not!

I hope you guys have a great day and don’t ever get cursed with insomnia. It’s a cruel thing indeed! Bubbye for now… And so ends my current case of the 'Insomniac Rambles' ;)

Curious About 'Jo'

I recently had the opportunity to meet an interesting individual. We meet people day in and day out in my field and I am personally very bad at remembering faces, hence I find it unusual to be blogging about or even recalling this person for that matter. But weirder things have been known to happen, so here I am, trying to figure out this person for only heaven knows what reason.

However, the few minutes I spent with this ‘Jo’ was limited and my analyzing skills hit a brick wall…My proverbial brick wall being the lack of information.

Then I had a brainwave and sought out the Da Vinci in me and decided to draw the person I had seen… You can see for yourself how well that attempt went :I

I’m not big into smiling at strangers, but ‘Jo’ REALLY doesn’t smile. I did some subtle questioning and tactful nose-poking once I got home, interrogating friends and Facebook-stalking and all! Sources of intelligence and counter intelligence confirmed earlier suspicions. ‘Jo’ and smiles are worlds apart, but ‘Joe’ is in no way depressed. Being curious me, I really want to know WHY :S

Yours truly,

Busybody Me

P/s: Facebook stalking can be most informative and fun when done with friends. Me like ;)

Resurfacing of The Prawn!

You were there and you seemed to care,

To even speak I did not dare.

It used to be the other way round,

Till what I had for you ran aground:

When passion, concern, and smiles abounded;

That yesteryear, when we were still true bonded.

 

I wonder why I dreamt tonight,

Of you and me, holding us tight,

Of when we knew not tears or fright.

H would say the thoughts are residual,

Memories on a different level,

Like the slimy grease beneath black gravel. (Ok, that’s what I would say since I’m a meanie at times…)

Subconscious thought begone at once,

I will soon see the break of dawn,

I will not feel for you, bloody prawn.

And tonight if dreams do come again,

I hope it won’t be of you, my bane.

And if they should ever return the pain,

I might just have to rewire my brain.

My face right now,  while reading this bit of utter idiocy, two weeks after I wrote it. And ‘rewire my brain’?! WTH was I thinking?!! ~Bwekkss!~

Anyway, the past is the past, so here’s to a better tomorrow! Ganbatte-yo! :oD

The Prawn Must Be Brought Down!! A scene from District 9 :P

On a different note, have you guys heard of selective amnesia before? Pretty cool, even if I do say so myself… ;) 
I wonder how one acquires that skill because I am cursed with almost elephant-like memory, at least in non-academic fields!! :P


And I think I overdid the links a bit this time! :)

The After Party

I wonder who coined that word coz the after party is the real party.. then there's the after-after party, where one needs to clean up whatever mess is left behind and wake up for a full day of work.. haha..but 'twas good and here we are plunging headlong into another week again! :P

exams r done for this sem. good. other stuff still pending and am hardly excellent company when i have uncertain things, tasks,bla bla bla hanging over my head. i get cranky. thank god for crankier friends, entertainment, good blogs, wonderful food and family, in no particular order. makes things seem a bit better.

but actually, i wanted to type about my fascination for ppl who are still so connecetd to their homelands even though they live elsewer. it's weird but i like it. but am in a grumbly mood, so will do that some other time, when i am all sunshine :)

too-dles ppl. i have no bloody idea what that means, but i've got more work to do. monday blues.. grrrr! ciao..

Giving

Christmas is less than a week away and the season of giving has already started.

There were clothes' donations, meal sharing, and advice-giving sessions all around this past week plus and I'm wondering when it'll stop. Talk about being a kill-joy =P

I actually enjoy the material goods sharing part and the getting together and bonding, but the ADVICE has to stop, man. They probably mean well, these friends of mine, but well, they don't have a clue what they are talking about.

It'll be all right if the advice was given to me alone, but it was done in a room FULL of people (OK, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration there....=P). I appreciate the gesture, don't get me wrong, but as a friend I know says, one must 'ada hati' to take the next step.

Not to mention, there were some not too subtle moments in the wee hours of this morning where I wanted to stick my head into the ground like an ostrich out of sheer embarrassment. Oh, my God! Friends from hell... hehe... I still love you guys, though!

Yeah well, all that aside, to apologise or not to apologise, that is the question.

Considering how it's the season of giving and all that, I should just do that - apologise and make things right again. I'd actually rather just avoid the person involved for eternity but that's what a bloody13-yr-old would do.

Hence, here I am, giving myself the courage to do this right and move on with life. In this season of giving, I'm giving myself the gift of emotional freedom and honesty. What are YOU giving yourself?

Moving

'All my bags are packed, i'm ready to go..." =)

I am finally moving and i'm kinda sad. i'll miss this floor wid all the people i bump into in the corridor and chat to while i do my dishes or stir my latest dish on the stove in the common kitchen. The four flight of stairs i walk up and down everday, the 'olga' and larissa mammas who sit at the kiosk and smile patiently as they try to understand my broken russian everytime i run out of water/groceries - they will all be lost in my memories wid time once i move and i dont like that..

this hostel is nice, fewer ppl i know, fewer ghost stories..hehe.. but change is inevitable.

i'm moving - to a place closer to all d ppl i know, closer to the eating places on campus, and the one-stop centre to call home n buy prepaid internet credit. i shud be happy and yet i'm not as happy i shud be. i've been here these past 3+ years and the familiar sights and smells have grown on me.

the move seems like such a big thing and it's eating up all my time n energy. i'm finally sitting down here, but tomorrow is another day of hauling bags against the chilly pre-winter wind to my new home for these final 2 years and i'm praying that god gives me the strength to pull through tomorrow and blesses the new home for my roomie n myself.

feeling a bit tired n

sorry for myself - pathetically - because this 'move' has been looming over us these past 2 months. Just wanna get it over with, but still gotta do it right!

but beyond all that i still have my good friends i can depend on to brighten up my day - 7 memories =) - n my family, which change as it does while i'm away, stil gives me the sense of coming home everytime i talk to or see them.

They say home's in one's heart and i know that even if i change addresses, deep down inside, my home has not changed..

so i AM moving, but my home's still the same =)

A Passion For Languages =)

I like languages. I speak a couple fluently and a few more.. hehe.. let’s just say that I know mere spatters of them =)

Well, what’s brought about this craze for languages? I don’t know. I think it’s an expansion of my curious palate.

Once upon a time I believed strongly that a window into a culture of the world was their cuisine. I was right and wrong it seems. Eating twenty different kinds of pasta make you understand the Italian culture and lifestyle to a ceratin extent but it is limited. Severely limited.

So, I started picking up different languages. The words sometimes just dont roll off my tongue and the stress, phonetics and intonations which i spout at times is enough to crack the native speakers up.. haha.. but I’m trying.

What’s surprising is that in many different languages, there are words that sound similar, differing sometimes by a single vowel or none at all! It makes me wonder if those crazy linguists out there are actually correct.

Could all the languages of the human actually have evolved from one common stem over these centuries of civilisation?

Could these languages which we see as barriers between different races actually hold the key to finding similar ground?

Hmm.. I wonder =) So, for now, I guess i’ll just continue gabbing in whatever language suits my fancy. I’m working on it anyway!

My English, Malay, Tamil, n Hindi arent that bad but Russian, Japanese, Cantonese, Spanish, sign language (seriously…) n lately Korean just seem to elude me.

And no, my studies don’t require wide linguistic capabilities. It actually requires simple sentences so that we don’t end up losing our patients along the way =P