Over

The semester, my undergrad life. New beginnings, continuations, whichever way I want my loved ones there each day. God willing..

Writing.

Havent had time for it lately. The inspiration is in abundance though :p... perhaps one of these days. But that's what i've been saying for the past 3-4-5 mths... hehee... maybe tis time to accept that Connections needs to be put behind me? For a person that lets go of some things easily, some other things are way too hard for me to leave behind.. I think i take attachment to the point of obsession and disattachment to the point of schizoid personailty disorders. I need to find a middle path. This is when I should pay more attention to Buddhist teachings and seek the middle way. Oh well... back to my books for now..

It Has Been A While

Yes, it has...I've been otherwise occupied and intend to get this blog back up and running... Soon..erm soon-ish :P

Xmas

It's Christmas today here. I'm splat in Eastern Europe, in a country where the people are predominantly Orthodox Christians. For them Christmas is on Jan 7th :)

I was going through my bloglist and realised that stuff I read comes predominantly from Malaysia, Sri Lanka and India... There are the odd African and American blogs out there that I follow, but they're rare and few in number.. Just a random thought.

First snowfall during our first year

Rambles.Race. More Rambles

Yep so I've been thinking, well not actually, I make better decisions when I don't think too much and just go with the flow.


I guess I'm keeping Connections at least till this summer. Once I get my posting I'm pretty certain that all blogging whims will be overruled by the need to get back to my loved ones and get decent rest. I hear residency can be hell... and even if I wished otherwise, blogging will become a thing of the past.This blog has been my constant companion through all sorts of times from 4 yrs ago... I know the posts here begin on Sept 2009, but it's in fact from an older blog that doesn't exist anymore. 


I've realised a few things of late:
-I'm pretty readable with or without the blog
-So what if the facts are laid out for people to see?
-I don't have commitment issues. I have attachment issues. This blog staying on would be an excellent example.
-I think that's all actually :P


And to get to the point of this post:


THE WORLDS NEED
Ella Wheeler Wilcox


O many gods, so many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind,
While just the art of being kind
Is all the sad world needs.



That's all we all want and need, isn't it? A bit of kindness.


It has been two months plus since I got back here and lots of things have happened. Things have a way of happening like that I've noticed, whether you expect them to or want them to or not. Another 8 mths till I can go home to people I love and I'm pretty certain this road's gonna be littered with all sorts of random events which make uni life all the sweeter. Four times the current drama looming on the horizon... God give us strength! :P


Right so that didnt make too much sense, but blame it on the slightly sleepy state the food has put me in.


And do you know what's as awesome as loving and caring for someone? It's being loved and cared for in return. Mushiness I know. Just a liddel homesick..


Oh btw, happy belated Halloween and Deepavali to all who celebrate :) Me? I celebrated both :) And erm, focus on the poem, 'cause the rambles wont make sense nyways. It's just an outlet for my slow dribble of thoughts.


Have a great day, all! :)

Ahimsa?

That basically means non violence... and to me it covers physical, intentional and verbal nonviolence too.

I've been tempted to kill off my blog though... since February actually, after a conversation with an acquaintance who got it into his head that a certain post was about him. The post was subsequently deleted because I got sick of trying to explain myself to someone I couldnt give two figs about. Yep. I'm a horrible person that way.

Back to what I was saying. Blogging was a hobby, a way to connect. Now one year past... it feels like a heavy chain about my neck. People I'm close to, people I barely know, people I would rather keep their distance from me... It hit me that they're getting an insight to me. And I'm not too comfortable with that. I've always been a private person... and to think a person I smile in acknowledgement at but have never had a decent conversation with might know what I had for breakfast this morning is unnerving. Yep. I'm a bit on the paranoid side. Not that I'm being stalked or anything, it's just well, it's me. It's a lot nicer to just blend in and not get too much attention, except from people who really matter...loved ones, family, true friends, you get the picture.

So to kill or not to kill. I don't know. Maybe I just wont post for a bit and take a breather.. too many articles I'm attached to here. Maybe I should just say to heck with it, my blog, my thoughts, so what if some people don't like it... just learn to deal with it? :S

Sigh. Undecided. It's a terrible feeling. I respect people who can make decisions in a split second. Me... it usually takes me longer than the average person. I mean, hello... I've been weighing this relatively simple decision for around 7 months. There are people who decide who they want to live with for the rest of their lives on a first date. There are those who walk away from all worldly possessions to work with gorillas in South Africa. World leaders decide how much to cut carbon emissions by in a matter of days.

But I LIKE blogging. Sigh. Till later then

One Year Old

This is my blog and today it turns one :) A collection of random events expressed by pictures, words, stories, music, sayings... I moved here exactly one year ago and it has been a journey I'll remember because every post reflects a stage i went through, how i viewed the world around me. Thanks to all of you who've dropped by and added that much more life to Connections :)

                                                    That was one mouth-watering cheesecake...!
Have a nice day, all! :)

0412 hrs.

That's the time at home and my mind's filled with just one thought. Sleep tight, you.

Actually I wanted to say that summer was awesome and would like to thank a fellow blogger Sankara, for without his assistance, my trip to Kerala with a loved one would not have been as awesome as it was :)

Till my next post then. I have to add more pictures. Maybe.. Nites, all!

Accusations: Bring Them On!

I’m a feminist

I am? Really? A friend pointed out that in almost every story that I write, the main protagonists are female.

I objected - naturally. I pointed out that in the book-cover-thing, the boss’ personality was as important as Mrs. H’s personal life; in ‘Moving On’ A was a very important character that I probably didn’t develop enough; Kach had to be a woman because women were better with secrets and more easily confused by their emotions and family; and Khai had to be the main character because that’s how I heard the story.

Also, if my friend had read the posts on ‘Conditional Love’ and ‘Children’, my attempts at being impartial and my ability to admit the weakness of my own gender should work in favour of my objections, no?

But, maybe, just maybe, I am a feminist deep down inside. I’m a woman after all and coming from my family, I realise how much it means to accept a person for who they are, even if it’s just a girl proud of being a member of the fairer sex.

Confusing? I think I’m trying to say that I might be a feminist, but I’m not an extreme one, not to the extent of thinking 6-feet-tall women should rule the world at least… :D

I linger too much on the past

My label ‘Orchard of Memories’ has a surprising number of ? posts. I actually failed to notice that!

I’m not too sure, but I’ll go out on a limb here and say that that could be because I believe in this:

“The past and the people we meet along the way make us who we are and possibly affect what we’ll become in future, and I like to jot it down so that I might figure out what makes me tick inside”

Everyone and everything deserves due recognition. So yeah, I’m not going to refute this claim :P

I never blog on politics

True, what can I say… I usually don’t express things I don’t have faith in. That includes: politics, extraterrestrial life, the Lochness monster and flying pigs. Go figure.

I am commitment-phobic

Apparently they arrived at this conclusion because my label for some of my posts says ‘Commitment?’ with a question mark… Ooohhhkkkaaayyy

It isn’t that I question commitment, all right? It’s supposed to be taken with a dose of humour, people. Chillex, la!

I’m all pro-marriage like I pointed out bluntly in this, but yeah I doubt everlasting love and undying devotion unless it’s to a higher power i.e. scary mothers, frowning dads, cooing babies, crazy siblings and the Big Guy Up There who watches over us all :)

Relationships are fine by me, but excuse me if I seem cynical when a guy/girl professes love on the second date. I think you should make sure you’ve heard the other fart, go all ape sh*t over insignificant matters and do all the other normal human things before you decide the sun shines out of their ars*s… A bit old-school perhaps? :P

Others

I write a lot on other people. Why, thank you! That’s why it’s called ‘Connections’, because I’m trying to connect the dots between us all. Bridging the gap, breaking the ice, reaching out… that sorta thing!

This post and a number of others are dedicated exclusively to muah. So, this accusation, while being sweet to my ears, is not entirely true :)

I rarely use names

Most perceptive. I think that when I use a name, people get a certain image of the person. Imagine if my hero was named:

Aaron – you might picture a tall blonde guy with braces riding a bicycle or a Jew complete with tall black hat and beard

Joginder – you’re probably thinking of a tall Punjabi guy with a purple turban, doing the ‘light bulb move’ to a Bangra remix

When I do use names, like Khadijah, it’s to show something. In Khadijah’s case it’s a classic Muslim name reflecting her traditional upbringing.

Since I write based on real life experience mostly, the lack of full names also offer a level of anonymity to my subject(s?) of interest at that given time.

My font is usually small and I love colours, I love words

Completely true! :)

I ‘see’ God in waaayyy too many things

            The night got late, and talk turned philosophical. My concept of seeing God in water, children and mothers made for a long, rambling conversation with another friend. But honestly, I find the simple things like human bonds and nature the best way to appreciate a higher power, and if I can’t be honest in my own blog, where my worldly identity is pretty much shrouded in shadows, then why blog, right? Blogging’s meant to express what I feel and think and believe after all!:P

            Wait, what if I have ‘God complex’? O_o

Err… I’ll save that question for another day – not a path I’m willing to tread right now!

All in all I never thought the way I blog could be analysed to this detail, but I’m thankful for the external scrutiny. Perhaps it’ll give me a fresh insight to who I am. Even if it doesn’t, it did generate yet another winding post from me anyways… A post not quite on par with an episode of the Myth Busters, which I find good fun incidentally…  ;)