parenting 101 #2 ;)

Introducing the Art of Baby Care

Decided to tap into my maternal side and this is all I could come up with.. for all of you new parents... coming from seasoned veterans in the baby business, allow my to impart my limited knowledge in the field of raising kids :-p

And btw, if a friend of yours has kids, buying baby wipes is a big favour. Really :-|

Kids

They turn your world upside down, but you find you don't mind it that much :)

They have a crazy imagination and you wonder when your own world began shrinking to you and the people around you. Even a speck of dust leaves them amazed.

They tire you out so much you love sleep and bath time :)

That's all for now. Bub bye!!

National Exams

they wanna abolish 2 out of 3 currently in place. WTH?

while i agree that national exams make some extra competitive and add pressure, why doesn't anyone else find it to be a good thing?

Everything has the good and bad and as much as i complain about our current education system, I think that the exams are one of the GOOD things.

1. i NEVER studied for any major exam in school, except for the final one before graduating high school, and even that i did mere weeks before. ask my mum if you don't believe me.
2. i doubt more than a handful actually did
3. the exams sort of gave us a sense of purpose
4. while being able to demotivate when results come out, even the failures form resolves to do something with their lives. i have friends in this category. i have friends who completely gave up too. and i have friends who fall in between both of these extremes. so don't tell me that exams bring out the best or worst in people. they just assess, it's how a person responds to the assessment, but that would spark a conversation about mentality and i'm not going there.
5. marking the papers actually gives senior citizens a chance to earn some extra money. these aren't high flying corporate successes. these are people who live on their pensions or EPF. it gives THEM a sense of purpose
6. exams help with streaming.... i know it sounds biased but it does help identify ppl with artistic inclinations and science inclinations. ppl who probably don't have a solid career ambition yet. won't streaming help them figure it out?
7. term-based assessments are nonsense in my opinion.everyone's gonna take it lightly. plus, how can you know the standard of the exam questions? it'll probably vary from school to school. what's gonna stop schools who want better results from not setting easier questions? or giving 'leaked' questions?

too much pressure. isn't school a means to teach kids how to HANDLE pressure? instead they're trying to protect us from it like overzealous parents.

if they do wanna make a change, change it to continuous assessments + exams. like in the south australian matriculation. or they could just hand us play dough in school.

yeah, i'm more than a little irritated. call it nerves if you want to.

Amazing Grace

I've always loved church hymns. I think it may have to do with the fact that I was a regular chapel goer during my school days. 

In case you were wondering, I'm very much a Hindu. But due to my heritage, we offer incense and lotus to Buddha and I am also passably well-versed in many things Islam because I have quite a few close Muslim friends. I honestly don't bother about other people's religious beliefs. I'm inclined to think that it's between them and God but more than one person has questioned outright what religion I belong to and though I think it's none of their business, I thought I'd take this opportunity to explain it anyway. 


I'm aware of the Buddhism being a teaching, but I don't know why I personally feel it's a religion of sorts, at least back home.

Enjoy the clip. Watch her expressions. That and her voice gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside :)

Her voice adds a whole different depth to the song. God bless her.

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Life’s Drama: Lies and Forgiveness

Adam looked at the two adults seated at the same table and he thought back to the day that this had all begun:

“You talk too much!” the lady’s voice had been harsh with hardly suppressed anger.

“You should know,” the man had almost sneered at the beautiful woman dressed smartly in calf-length skirt and a light blue blouse. “Judging a person’s talk is what you do at work anyway and you never knew how to keep work and personal life separate, now did you?”

Adam had just looked on in bewilderment, gripping the handle of his little plastic mug tight, unsure of what to do.

“Are you saying something here? If you are, say it outright! We’re both adults. Aren’t we?” Her voice had become louder and louder and her eyebrow had shot up, a danger signal that the man knew very well.

“You want me to utter those filthy words. Words that you have no qualms about acting out.” He had wanted her to hurt. She deserved to after the hell she had put him through.

“I have had enough!” Her fists had been clenched into tight balls. “You are jumping to conclusions, and I will not stoop to your level! You did it before, you think I didn’t know? Well, I do and I think of it everyday and I-would-love-to-do-the-same-to-you!” Her words had been grated out between clenched teeth.

“You ungrateful ….!” The man had brought his fist down on the glass coffee table, shattering it in one violent movement and drowning out the rest of his words.

Adam had felt the tears falling and his chest had clenched in fear. “Mummy?” he had managed through his sobs. “Why are you and Daddy fighting?”

“We aren’t fighting, honey,” the lady had told him.

The man had been swearing under his breath.

“Jaan, you’re bleeding.” She had grabbed the table cloth and reached out for his hand.

“Don’t touch me,” he had snarled and stalked out of the room, a fury burning within his throat. 

Anger at her for seeking solace in another, anger at himself for not being able to deny her accusations. Disgust at himself for the accusations he had hurled at her, disgust at her for not honouring her vows. Fear for their home. Pity for Adam.

The cool wind from the porch had hit his face, helping him breathe a little easier. His hand had begun to throb where the glass pieces had pierced through.

“Da?” The voice had shook slightly.

The man had turned to face his eight-year-old. “Come here, son.”

The boy had gone to the man’s side. “Mummy asked you to hold the hand tight and wrap it in this,” the child had told him, brown eyes big and saucer-like as he held out a dish cloth. “Does it hurt, Da? Shall we go to the doctor?”

The man had laughed a short curt laugh. “I am a doctor, Adam.”

The boy had nodded and kept quiet for a minute. “I thought you told Mummy that she was always your doctor?” His brows had been furrowed as he tried to recall a memory.

“I’m not sure that’s true anymore.” The man’s voice had been gruff.

“Do you have another doctor now?” the boy had asked seriously.

“Jaan, get into the car. You probably need stitches.” The lady had appeared at the doorway with her handbag slung over one shoulder.

“Mummy, why are you crying?” Adam had asked noticing her tear-streaked face.

“Stop being melodramatic. I’m the one with the bleeding hands.”

“Just shut the hell up and get into the car.” Her voice had been cool. She knew her ability to keep an even temper infuriated her husband even more than her anger.

“Let me tell you what you can do with the car…” His voice had been dangerous and his eyes glinting as he advanced on her, pinning her against the white walls of the porch.

“Daddy, stop…!” Adam had started crying again as he watched his mother’s face pale with fear.

“Jaan, I never slept with him,” the lady had whispered into his broad shoulders. “There was flirting, but it was on his side.”

“You lie,” he had growled in a low voice.

“You believe what you want. I made it seem that way because I was mad at you about Anita.”

“What?” His dark eyes had been fixed on her face.

“She told me that…”

The man had taken two steps backwards. “That’s untrue. You actually believed her?” His tone had been incredulous.

“Why would she lie?”

“I wish I knew…”

“So, shared custody?” his father asked his mother and his polite voice cut through Adam’s reverie.

“Agreed. We’ll sell the house and car and share the sum equally.”

Now they were signing a whole sheaf of papers.  His father was in a hurry, he was going to meet Aunty Anita for tea. His mother’s cell phone beeped and she picked up the call.

“Hi, honey,” she said into the mouthpiece and Adam saw his father grimace.

His father had said that his mother was going to marry a friend from work but he still looked at her in the same way and at nights sometimes his mother cried herself to sleep and mumbled his father’s name in her troubled slumber.

The nine-year-old looked at the two adults who had been the pillars of his life and wondered how they failed to see what was so clear to him.

He watched the weave of the pen across the divorce papers as they signed the agreement to end their marriage and Adam felt hollow inside. He felt helpless and wished he could do something to make it right again. He watched and wished that they would see and understand that he did not want this.

“Take care then.” Adam stood by his father as his mother walked away and he heard the shallow intake of breath from his father and knew that it was a sigh of regret.

Adam wanted to cry but instead he put his hand into his father’s and held on tightly, willing him some comfort.

“Mummy won’t be coming back. She’ll be happier this way,” his father said softly as the black Toyota pulled away.

Adam wondered if what his father had said was true and wondered if his father actually believed it to be true. Adam wondered if his father was just pretending to be OK, like his mother was. Adam wondered how much longer he could wear the façade of the shoulder to lean against for his parents for he too was pretending not to hurt inside.

“All the world is a play and we are but actors in it”             -William Shakespeare -

“Forgive and forget. Easier said than done.”                        - Anon -

A Welcome Portrait

March has a record number of posts by muah, because these 3 months have been exam months. I know. It's a paradox. I tend to blog more when I have exams because that means more time on my hands. Usually during vacations my days are so full that I go weeks without the PC, days without the TV and never without proper food :) 

But the purpose of this post isn't to discuss my blogging habits. It's to prove that I have as much skill in art as I have technological expertise ;) 

                                                                    Family Portrait

Welcome to the family, little girl :)

Lots of love,

CM

On Children.Not A Happy Post

          Kids are time consuming, nerve wrecking and totally unpredictable. Even more so when they aren't our own!You would think that they'd be less complex because they are essentially miniature versions of us, no? But after our third posting at the department, the little stethoscope-demanding gremlins seem to have grown on us.

          All that said and done, I still fail to get why people have kids and then throw them aside.  

Case 1: Beautiful woman with gorgeous eyes talks to us. Educated, confident, Orthodox Christian. Then we walk into the procedure room later and there she is, getting a D&C (abortion) Unwanted pregnancy? Use protection, dammit. Not like you live in a Muslim country without sex-ed, yeah?

Case 2: Well-to-do couple, stable home. When we met their child (then 5 months plus), they were nowhere in sight and had stopped visiting the child when he was 1 month old. Why? Coz he was born with microcephalia (small skull and brain) Yes, death is imminent for a child in that condition but he was still their child. He still needed their love. We just learnt that he passed away a few weeks back. I doubt anyone claimed his body. Please do say a prayer for him.

Case 3: It happens ALL the time at home and I'm getting bloody sick of it. Woman (in most cases it's a GIRL, not a WOMAN) has kid, wraps it (or doesn't) and hides baby in bushes/toilet/whatever place she thinks is safe. Whatever place she thinks is safe, is NOT. The kid will probably be hungry/ suffer from overcooling/ get an infection/ be bitten by insects/ be afraid. Yes, newborns can feel fear. These 'mothers' never hand in the child to welfare/ the police because they fear the potential social stigma. Cow dung, if you ask me.

Case 4: Abuse. We hear about abuse in the name of God (like God would tell you to burn the kid with incense or whip him till he bleeds?), in parental conflict, in poverty/after drug or alcohol consumption. I freaking hate it. I've even met with a mum who made her kids drink paraquat (weedkiller) after some problems with her spouse. How are we supposed to be IMPARTIAL and WANT to save the life of a woman who would harm innocent beings under her care? Don't get me wrong, but most child abuse cases involve the mothers or female guardians. At times I find myself cursing Hippocrates and his oath.

          I don't know why I'm writing this. It isn't going to change the fate of these kids, but it sucks to see kids like that. It's just unfair. I usually think of their shy smiles, confiding whispers, Winnie the Pooh bedspreads and little finger nails but I got a little emo after reading about the babysitter and lover who caused the death of a toddler. Inhumane.

Are women REALLY the better half? 

          Women succumb to selfish acts, give in to fear for 'social standing' and then behave like men are incapable of rational thought when in fact it is the woman who makes the FINAL decision on abortion/ abandoning the child. 

          The fact that I am even blogging against my own gender proves how wrong I feel this is. 'This' being us women smearing camel shit all over the notion of motherhood and motherliness.

          Forget breastfeeding campaigns. Teach the women how to BE women and not vile ar** wipes, for our educated women of today have forgotten the basic cave-men era lessons of loving and nurturing.

          I know the post is full of rantings and negative emotions. My apologies, but I had to get these feelings into a semblance of order. I don't function well with pent up chaotic anger, but expressed 'controlled' fury like this is more manageable :)

"God is in the face of a child "

My mum told me this once when my nephew was born. I couldn't agree with her more. 

Looking forward to more drool faces and pouty small round faces, because I think CHILDREN are the better half of the population.